


Friendly Drunk

by MaxWrite



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Intoxication, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-30
Updated: 2011-05-30
Packaged: 2017-10-19 22:25:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxWrite/pseuds/MaxWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Courage, like matter, comes in three forms: liquid, solid and gas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friendly Drunk

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [elfsausage](http://elfsausage.livejournal.com).

"Mr. Scott, we must hurry!" Commander Spock called over the wail of the klaxons blaring throughout the abandoned space station.

"You don't think I know that?!" Scotty yelled back. He glanced up for a split second, but couldn't quite make Spock out through the thick, purplish fog that was rapidly filling the small control room. He went back to work, tapping away at the unfamiliar console before him, trying to shut down whatever was causing the smoke to billow into the room and the doors to stubbornly remain locked. "I bloody well told you I didn't like the feel of this place!" he added.

"That is hardly a useful assessment, Mr. Scott!" Spock replied, then proceeded to cough.

"It's a damn sight more useful than bargin' in and poking at things we've no business messin' with in the first… You alright, sir?" Scotty glanced up again as Spock continued coughing, but he still couldn't quite see him.

"I am perfectly fine! Continue working! Are you certain you can make sense of the controls?"

"If there's any sense in the design, I shouldn't be far off from unlocking those doors!"

"I have heard you say something similar before, and if I recall correctly, you transported the captain and myself directly into the middle of a group of Romulans!"

"Oi! Honest mistake, that!"

Scotty tapped away furiously, trying not to worry too much about Spock's coughing. He'd said he was fine. Probably just a tickle in his throat. The smoke wasn't affecting Scotty at all. Perhaps Vulcans were different. But how different could they be?

"AH-HA!" Scotty cried, tapping out what should be the last few keystrokes in a long sequence of desperate moves. One final tap, and not only did the klaxons finally cease their infernal racket, but one glance at the nearest smoke emitters (dinner plate-sized holes in the base of the wall, all along the perimeter of the room; Scotty had _known_ those holes would spell trouble) told him that the emissions had stopped as well. He couldn't quite see the nearest holes yet through the smoke, but he could see that the smoke's movement had changed, was now calmly swirling rather than rushing toward the room's center in angry, bruise-colored columns.

He chuckled and wiped sweat from his brow. "It's stopped. Sodding hell, that was close. Not so much the purple stuff; I suspect it's some sort of toxin developed for the race this station belongs to, but those infernal alarms, thank the gold-plated gods they've stopped. Felt like me head was about to crack wide open… Commander?"

Scotty looked back in the direction Spock's voice had last come from, and as the smoke cleared he was finally able to see him… sitting on the floor, slumped against a wall.

Scotty dashed out from behind the console and rushed to his commander's side. He dropped down to a crouch and gave Spock a shake. "Sir? Commander, can you me?"

Spock came to with a cough and a splutter. He raised his head and blinked dazedly at his surroundings, then up at Scotty's worried face. "Mr. Scott?" he rasped.

Scotty smiled, relief washing over him. "Aye, that's right, it's me. How're you feeling, sir?"

Spock seemed to need a moment to consider his answer. He coughed a bit more and frowned as he glanced around again. Then a big smile stretched across his face as he met Scotty's eyes. "Mr. Scott," he repeated, bringing a hand up to touch Scotty's arm.

"Yeah, we established that already. What about _your_ name, your rank, the year, the ship you serve on."

"On which you serve."

"What?"

"The ship _on which you serve_ ," he corrected, then promptly hiccuped.

Scotty frowned. "Feelin' more like ourselves already, are we? The date, sir, what's the date?"

Spock shifted, sitting up straighter and shimmying closer to Scotty. He made a "come here" motion with his index finger.

"I'm right here, sir."

"I would appreciate it if you would come closer." He made the gesture again and this time seemed to have to stifle an actual giggle.

Scotty arched an eyebrow. "What for?"

"I have something to reveal to you, something of a delicate nature."

"Erm… there's noboby else here."

"We have yet to establish that this station, however abandoned it may appear, is not equipped with some type of surveillance."

"Well, true, but…" With a sigh, Scotty hunched over further, bringing his ear down to Spock's level. "Well, come on then, out with it."

Spock leaned in, cleared his throat and said, "I FIND YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING."

"GAH!" Scotty yelled in shock, flinching and falling backwards onto his backside. "What the… Oh, and there goes the eardrum. Now you've done it, eardrum's bloody well gone."

"THAT IS HIGHLY UN… That is highly unlikely. I do apologize, however; I seem to be experiencing difficulties regulating the volume of my speech."

"Yeah," Scotty grumbled, digging in his ear with a finger. "That's 'cause you're drunk."

"…On what evidence are you basing that conclusion?"

Scotty snorted. "You mean besides the fact you nearly _giggled_ a moment ago?" He got back up into a crouch and helped Spock to his feet. "Come on. Door's unlocked. Lowering the shields shouldn't be a problem now, we'll be back on the _Enterprise_ 'fore you can say 'half-deaf Scotsman'."

They stumbled to their feet. Spock swayed ominously, but Scotty managed to keep him upright. They headed for the door, the room now clear enough to actually see where they were going, but halfway across the room, Scotty stopped.

"Whoa, whoa, hang on," he said. "I know it's unbelievable that I didn't quite catch what you screamed at me a moment ago, but… what did you scream at me a moment ago?"

Spock swayed and hiccuped again. He turned his bleary eyes on Scotty and grinned the dopiest grin Scotty had ever seen on anyone, let alone a Vulcan. "To summarize… you are cute."

Scotty smirked. "Oh, you're drunk as a skunk, you are."

"My apparent intoxication has no bearing on my personal tastes in romantic partners."

"Pfft! I've heard that before… I've _said_ that before, though not in so many words. Come on, let's get you home, then."

"I believe I would like to spend an evening with you," said Spock as they continued on their way, "engaging in human courtship ritual activities."

"H'oh boy. You know, since you're clearly three sheets to the wind, I feel fairly safe admitting that you're quite an attractive man yourself. I might entertain the notion of plantin' one on you if I wasn't so bloody sober right now."

It was Spock who stopped them this time. "A kiss?"

"Aye, but I can't do that. You're impaired, it'd be takin' advantage."

"And if I was not impaired?"

"Still a bloody bad idea. You're my superior. Also, I don't think we've be having this conversation."

"Then the solution is clear: you must also be impaired."

Scotty laughed. "Are you suggesting that if we're both drunk, then neither of us is responsible for our actions? Bloody hell, you're worse off than I thought you were."

"You are in possession of several illegal bottles of Romulan ale, are you not?"

"I don't know what you're on about," Scotty said, his expression worthy of a championship poker game. "Besides, once we're back to the ship, it'll be straight to the Med Bay with you, and even if there's nothing mortally wrong with you, you'll be under observation for hours. You'll sober up sooner or later. No time to get me drunk."

"What if I divulged to you that I have access to enough chocolate to get me back to the state I am currently in… provided this state is not indeed lethal."

Scotty opened his mouth, then shut it again.

"Mr. Scott?" Spock said.

Scotty looked at him. "Your place or mine?"

END


End file.
